(For Men And The Women Who Love Them)
DON’T BE A BORING HUSBAND. Being romantic with your “wife” does not spoil your holiness.
In marriage, it is not every time that you put up a serious face to discuss matters. Crack jokes and play with your wife.
Research has shown that people bond more easily with those who make them laugh. When last did you make your wife laugh?
I sincerely believe that the NATURE and QUALITY of conversation that goes on regularly between the two of you is a true reflection of the state of health of that marriage.
Being romantic with your wife does not mean you always grab her to sleep with her. Even in coital activities, some men are not romantic.
They fail to recognize that their sexual hormones operate like a ceiling fan while those of their wives operate like a heated iron.
While the former get on the wave and dive in almost immediately, the latter on the other hand gather momentum steadily.
So they neglect foreplay due to lack of discipline and self-control. Learning to be romantic will not jump on you; you have to learn it.
In marriage, as it is in other fields of life, we need to LEARN, UNLEARN and RELEARN.
You know; I’m a Pastor by His Grace, so I know the way some Christians behave when it comes to romantic expressions.
The Church has left the matter in the hands of unbelievers and we have boring marriages where the same man that takes his wife on a 40-day fasting and prayer cannot take her out for socials – probably to an eatery, a beach, a boutique, or a recreation centre, and many women are dying in silence due to this level of priority mismanagement.
Let me give it to some men; they’re not being mischievous or deliberately callous; they don’t just know how to go about it.
They actually don’t know what to say or do. If the only thing you keep telling your wife is, “How are you?” or “Have you eaten?” or “You’re the only sugar in my tea and the only cockroach in my cupboard”, then you need to brace up.
Add new stuffs to the old stuffs. Read books on relationships (and you can even start from the Songs of Solomon), attend relationship seminars, and trust the Holy Spirit for what to SAY and DO per time.
I believe you won’t tell your wife some things written in Songs of Solomon and she will be angry with you.
Let me say this as a way of personal example to illustrate a point and not for self-glory.
Even after I finished from the University up till date, I still read English Text Books that belong to Junior Secondary Class like Brighter Grammar 1,2 and 3, etc., not minding the fact that I was the best student in Literature-in-English when I finished my secondary education.
I read Newspapers, Online publications, materials on different fields of life, the Dictionary and what have you.
I read everything that is “readable” that will of course develop my mind and not contradict my Faith.
The reason is that you just must keep developing yourself. IF YOU’RE NOT UPDATED, YOU’LL BE OUTDATED.
By the same token, find out new words (romantic words) you can use for your wife.
Find out new things you can do for her. Be innovative in your romantic expressions.
Hold her by the hand. Open the car door for her. Bring flowers home. Speak to her tenderly and affectionately.
Don’t shout on her. Be the first person to call, text or write about her on her birthday.
Imagine after every other person has greeted your wife on her birthday starting from 12am, your own compliments is just coming in by 11:45pm and you say “She understands”.
Understand what? Because me sef no understand that kind thing! That’s an indictment on your role as the husband.
You may be thinking that your wife is only interested in reading “The Book of Romans” and other Pauline revelations.
But you just bring in some romantic dimensions and see how she will respond.
I mean you take your wife for shopping and you say she won’t like it. Who no want better thing?
You just do that and you’ll suddenly discover that your “Prophetess wife” is responding like a “Princess”.
And you know, the entire family will be happy and the atmosphere of love will be intensified.
I’ve taken my wife out for shopping on a number of occasions (and I still do) because I believe in BALANCE.
While we take care of ministry, we mustn’t also neglect the family.
You may be thinking that you don’t have much money but I don’t think you need money to allow your wife to go out first when you’re exiting a door; I don’t think you need money to speak nice words to her, and even in the areas where money is involved, you START FROM WHERE YOU ARE.
You may not need to go to Sheraton Hotel to spend a weekend; START FROM WHERE YOU ARE.
If it is two fruits of apple that you can afford, buy them for your wife while coming home, and as God sees the sincerity of your heart to be a blessing to your wife and family in general, He will take you to greater heights in your finances.
I may not be able to fully tell you why it’s so, but I discover that you can’t take care of your wife and not experience financial and material prosperity.
I think 1 Peter 3:7 may also be playing out here.That’s food for thought! It’s a powerful secret I don’t want you to toy with friend!
Church, let’s wake up. Let’s not gloss over these issues in the name of “It’s only the Kingdom of God that we’re seeking. Bye bye to worldliness”.
The Kingdom of God that I know, and that I’m a part of, and that’s painted in Scriptures, must percolate down to every sphere of life, including the homefront.
When this is done, then God will be able to raise strong families in this end-time, worthy of His Name and to the praise of the Glory of His Grace!!!
I believe this is a blessing Sirs and Mas?
First Posted on 24th August, 2018.